The kids are gone or soon will be. Ah, the empty nest. You may have mixed emotions about this, but the empty nest is an opportune time to revitalize and refresh your relationship for a new marriage season.

When the kids leave home, they take their energy, vitality, and enthusiasm for life with them. Homes that were once a five-ring-circus are suddenly quiet and empty, leaving many people to feel disoriented. It’s as if you are starting a new marriage.

Understanding how an empty nest can affect your marriage is critically important to avoid becoming a statistic in what has been tagged as “gray divorce.” When divorce is becoming less common for Millennials, it is on the rise for Baby Boomers. According to the Pew Research Center, the divorce rate has roughly doubled since the 1990s for American adults ages 50 and older.

Couples who’ve been coexisting in a marriage for many years, nested in a busy home with children, may realize that they have nothing left in common once the kids leave the nest. Unacknowledged problems begin to rear their ugly head.

The good news is that the empty nest years can be the start of many happy new beginnings. Marriage experts David and Claudia Arp suggest several “first aid” tips for the empty nest marriage season.

  • Get some rest. – You may be emotionally drained from having just survived your children’s adolescent/college years. The Arps took a trip to New England after dropping off their last child for college. They reconnected as a couple and made critical decisions about how to grow their marriage in this next season.
  • Resist making immediate life and relationship changes. – Some reach the empty nest stage dissatisfied with their marriage relationship and begin to look for other options. Some immediately bolt from the marriage only to regret their departure. Others decide too quickly to change jobs, relocate, sell their house, or make other significant life and financial decisions. You will do well to take some time to seek God’s perspective and direction for this new season.
  • Acknowledge that this is a time of transition. – Transitional times can bring out the insecurities we may have about our marriages and even of ourselves. Acknowledge this is a major transition time, and you don’t have to figure out everything right now. One great thing about transitional times in life is that they allow us to redefine ourselves and our marriage. It is a time to reclaim your marriage relationship that may have been overlooked while raising kids. If you have been tag-teaming it like many parents, you will need to be intentional about refocusing on your spouse.
  • Don’t fear the silence. – If you find the silence awkward, remember it’s typical for this transitional time. And remember all the times you longed for some peace and quiet?

The empty nest can be like a second honeymoon. Celebrate this new season of your marriage by finding fun, fresh, and creative ways to connect. Good times are possible as you move into the empty nest season of your marriage.

Willie Batson loves equipping individuals and couples with tools for building healthy relationships. He is a pastor, a published author, a podcast co-host, and the Lead Coach at W.C.Batson Coaching. Visit his website at www.williebatson.com for more information about his “Marriage Tune-up” coaching program.