Tribute to Cindy Batson
Cindy Batson passed away suddenly but peacefully on the afternoon of February 19, 2018. A Celebration of Life and Faith Service was held on February 24, 2018 at Grace Community Church in Rochester, NH with more than 300 people in attendance. This page as been set up to archive various elements of that service.
Willie’s Tribute (These are his notes without the spontaneous remarks he made.)
Thank you for coming today. And thank you for the encouraging messages. To those of you who prayed for Cindy over the past few years, I don’t have adequate words to express our appreciation. She was always amazed at the way people thought enough of her to pray for her and send notes and cards. Thank you.
Most of the elements of this service today came from notes Cindy made one night in the hospital last year when she thought she was dying. Courtney, Cammie, and I have added a few of our touches.
Cindy valiantly endured the complications brought into her life by an awful monster of a disease – Multiple Sclerosis. While her physical mobility lessened over the years, she embraced each new season and did her best to live her life to the fullest. She continued to work as an educator and even learned how to drive our car with hand controls when her legs were too weak to use the pedals. The past three years have probably been the hardest with multiple hospitalizations due to pneumonia.
Cindy entered the hospital for the last time on February 13 with problems breathing. We thought it would be a routine stay like the others before it. Although her spirit remained strong, her body just couldn’t endure any more. I was able to be by her side as she breathed her last and fell asleep into the arms of her Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. While she suffered much, she never lost her hope or faith in Jesus. She is now free from all that was hard and difficult in her life. While I miss her terribly, I am grateful that she will never again be bound by that wheelchair, nor will she ever again be in pain.
Our love story did not begin with love at first sight – at least not on her part. I was a sophomore at Berkshire Christian College and she was part of the incoming freshman class. She said “no” to my first advances, but about two weeks later she said “yes.” We had our first kiss on September 19, 1970 and for some reason, we have celebrated that first kiss anniversary every year since. She recently told me that when I kissed her, she was a little surprised but that it won her over for good.
Our love for each other grew into a love that will last forever. She has been not just my wife for the past 45 years, she has been my best friend, my rock, and the one who kept me from getting a big head. She loved me with an unconditional love, rooted in the love of God.
I was not Cindy’s only love in life. She loved Jesus above all of us. From the time we met, I have been blessed by her steadfast faith in the Lord and His Will for her life.
One of my cherished memories is seeing her sitting alone each day reading her Bible. It has been her practice over the past several years to read through the whole Bible each year. She had that “blessed hope” of being with Jesus forever. Even when hospitalized, one of the first things she wanted me to bring up to her was her Bible.
If you will allow me some more grace, I would like to share a few more things she loved:
- Our daughters and their husbands. She carried a family picture in her purse all the time and did not hesitate to pull it out and brag on Courtney & Erik and Cammie & Dave.
- Our grandchildren. Oh, how they brought such joy to her. She prayed for them every day. Bragged on them. And made sure she had bubble gum in her pocketbook to give them. That’s why you found bubble gum on the seats today.
- Doing for others – cooking for others, giving freely and sometimes too generously, I thought. She loved having people over for meals and visiting.
- Anything chocolate. I learned early in our marriage to bring her chocolate instead of flowers.
- Being in ministry, especially the past 30 years as we focused on marriage and family ministry. While it was my primary call, Cindy was the companion fully devoted to helping other couples and parents build strong and healthy families. She graciously travelled with me to seminars and welcomed people into our home for Bible studies. When we would have a particularly heated discussion or disagreement, after it was settled she would say, “There’s another story for a seminar or another chapter for a book.” And she said she loved to hear me preach.
- Cats/pets. She was happiest when loving on the various cats we’ve had in our lives. I once accused her of loving the cats more than me. She just rolled her eyes. In January, when she came home from a 10-day stay in the hospital, as soon as she rolled into the house, Minnie (one of the cats) jumped up into her lap for some loving attention. That had never happened before. Cindy was in her glory.
- Oh, how she loved swimming. For years she asked if we could put a pool in our backyard. I resisted. Finally, when we moved to Somersworth in 2010 we bought a house with a pool. How happy that made her.
- She loved a big snow storm. She was like a kid.
- And one more thing she loved – Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy. Many times in the past few years our daily schedule revolved around being sure we could be home in time to watch it. And was she ever happy when some of the grandchildren started watching it with her.
However, just like the rest of us, Cindy hated some things.
- Bad grammar. Her college education included a minor in English.
- Having to depend on me so much. She was very independent and determined. As her need for more assistance and care grew, she hated that she was a burden for me. I told her time and time again, that I promised to love her in sickness and in health, for better for worse, until death do us part. I would not do it for anyone else. I did it because I loved her.
- Multiple Sclerosis – a disease that she dealt with for almost 30 years. The hardest part was the past nine months as she could not eat or drink by mouth because of the risk of aspirating into her lungs. She never quite adjusted to such a major life change.
- Sitting still. Cindy needed to be active. She thought watching television was a waste of time – except for Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy. She also considered naps a waste of time, which I had been frequently taking since retiring.
- Being in the spotlight. Cindy often didn’t want her picture taken. I had to get her approval for any picture that I put on Facebook. Even as I selected pictures for today I was thinking would she approve. She probably wouldn’t have okayed some of them. Cindy would be uncomfortable with all of the attention she’s getting here today. But she deserves it!
Her grandfather, Dr. Linden J. Carter, wrote a poem that I will close with. It captures the core of who Cindy was in her daily life. It was originally published in the March 1936 edition of the Advent Christian Missions magazine. It’s entitled, “That’s All I Ask.”
Not to do great deeds of worldly valor,
To lead triumphant armies, to be first in every test,
To make a pile of money that is larger than the rest,
To write a book or poem that is better than the best.
No, none of these.
But just to live as God would have me live from day to day,
To find my place and fill it, without trumpet or display,
To do whatever comes for me to do along life’s way,
That’s all I ask.
Not to be called great as men term greatness,
To wear gold medals, and to have men cheer when I pass by,
To have my name emblazoned on a tablet large and high
Within the nation’s temple of achievement when I die.
No, no, not these;
But only to have God’s approval, and each day to be
Of service to my fellow men, and when at last I see
My Master’s face to hear him say, “Well done,” to me,
That’s all I ask.
Memories of Mom (These are Courtney and Cammie’s notes used in the service.)
Mom had a heart of a teacher.
- At home she created spaces for us to explore and play.
- She imparted a love for reading in me. When we were little she would read aloud to us daily. She read all the classics to us including the Little House books, Charlotte’s Web, and all the Ramona books….. We made weekly trips to the library and…
- She also loved correcting our improper grammar.
She loved to create memories and traditions.
- One tradition that I remember well, and have continued with my family was an Advent Calendar. For many years she made a handmade Christmas tree out of poster board with 25 paper ornaments. Each day we would take one off and there would be a new activity listed for us to do or a special treat for that day.
- She always had special gifts for us on Valentine’s Day and enjoyed throwing creative birthday parties for us when we were kids.
- She continued that on to her grandchildren by sending them cards on holidays, most recently on Valentines day, she sent each of our kids a card with $2.
- She insisted we always had dinner together around the table (except for Friday Pizza night when we were allowed to eat in the living room on TV trays).
She loved to bake.
- Mom was always baking. Bran muffins, cookies, cakes. She was known, by my friends, for her homemade cookies and sweets that she would send with me to school. Chocolate chip cookies and turtle bars were some of my favorites.
- I remember how she would make homemade cakes for our birthdays every year, one year she made a pool with lanes and people made out of candy
She was a hard worker.
- Mom instilled in us a valuable work ethic by modeling diligence, perseverance, and discipline.
- She clipped coupons, shopped sales, and stretched our dollars, and it never felt like we were ever lacking even though our family was on a tight budget.
- She helped me take on a paper route when I was in 4th grade and did it alongside me every day at the beginning, so that I could save money for things I wanted to buy.
- She was stubborn and determined, and persevered toward her goals… traits that I believe helped sustain her once she was diagnosed with MS.
- When it became harder for her to walk, I would drive her to work before school, and she was determined to walk in on her own with her cane, and worked as a teacher until she was unable to.
She taught me how to be a friend.
- Looking back, I remember the strong friendships that Mom had with some of the neighborhood moms as well as women in our church. She was present in their lives daily and I could see what an encouragement she was to them.
- When it came to my friends, she was always willing to have them over or drive me to their houses or take us all out for some activity.
She knew how to have fun.
- Mom played with us. She came outside and went sledding. She got on the floor and played games. She swam with us, went on bike rides, and went roller skating with us at Happy Wheels.
- We watched old musicals over and over again and she sang show tunes with us while we all did the dishes together.
- She loved to laugh and giggle and make jokes… Sometimes the jokes and laughter happened when Dad was really wanting her to be more serious.
- She spent time playing with me, I remember playing lots of board games, and Scrabble was her favorite. We would walk to the Portsmouth high school and play tennis, we would play basketball in the driveway, she would take us to the Portsmouth outdoor pool, and once she became weaker with MS, she and I would swim laps at the Portsmouth indoor pool together.
Mom made Jesus the center of our daily lives.
- She did this in many ways, from praying with us each night to introducing us to Ants’hillvania and Bullfrogs & Butterflies… but one way that stands out to me is that Mom modeled for us the value of gathering with our church community regularly. Even though she made me wear a dress every single Sunday (despite my protests), Mom and Dad surrounded us with a church family that cheered us on, cared for us, welcomed us into their lives, and taught us how to serve. This had a lasting impact on my life.
- The last few years, she loved her coloring Bible, and the Jesus Calling devotional that I got her on Mother’s day, while she was in the hospital. She and dad would read that every night before bed, and it spoke to her heart in a really special way.
Click to view service program.
Thanks for the beautiful tribute Willie. It helped me wash out my eyes again. My earliest memories go back to Walterboro and our time together there. The pictures you posted warmed my heart when seeing her from childhood, to happiness in marriage, and the later years when there was still a smile as adversity was taking its toll. I am totally sure that her perpetual smile was preserved by the lasting love, the deep dedication, and the sacrificial servanthood you returned to her from the very first time you kissed to the very last. Your lives together can bring to you nothing less than the greatest of grief and, with the myriad of beautiful memories, the highest of happiness and joy. We love you.